【大紀元2月9日訊】我費盡周章終會面世的文字，將撕去今日中國許多東西的人相，露出「執政者」那超乎常人想像的心腸本色。當然，這些文字亦勢將給今天共產黨在全世界的那些「好朋友」、「好夥伴」帶來些許不快、甚而至於難為情——這些「好朋友」、「好夥伴」們內心對道德及人類良知價值還存有些敬畏的話。
今天，暴富起來的共產黨，不僅在全球有了越來越多的「好朋友」、「好夥伴」；而且把「中國是一個法治國家」這種顛倒黑白的口號喊得氣壯如牛。對中華民族人權進步事業而言，這兩者無一不是災難性的。
2007年9月21日夜20點左右，當局口頭通知說讓我去接受例行的改造思想談話。行在路上，我發現較往常比有了些異樣，平時貼身跟蹤的祕密警察們拉開了較遠的距離。行至一拐角處時，迎面撲來六、七名陌生人。我的背後脖脛處被猛然一擊，眼前感到整個地面飛速向我砸來，但我並未昏迷。接下來，感到有人揪起我的頭髮，迅速套上了黑頭套，被架上了一輛憑感覺是兩側面對面置有座椅而中間無椅的車上。我被壓迫趴在中間，右側臉著地，感到有一隻大皮鞋猛然踩壓在我的臉上。多隻手開始在我身上忙碌，由於他們對我一家的綁架頻繁，故而照例在我身上未搜得對他們有價值的東西。但我感覺到了此次與以往綁架的不同。綁架者抽下了我的皮帶將我反綁，我趴在車中間，估計著有不低於四個人的腳踏在我的身上。大約四十分鐘左右，我被拖下了車站立著，褲子已掉至腳脖上的我被推搡著進了一間房屋，此前一直沒有任何說話的聲音。
我的頭套猛然間被人扯下，眼前一亮的同時，辱罵和擊打開始了。「高智晟，我操你媽的，你丫的今天死期到啦，哥幾個，先給丫的來點狠的，往死裡揍丫的」，一個頭目咬呀切齒吼叫道。這時，四個人手執電警棍在我頭上、身上猛力擊打，房間裡只剩下擊打聲和緊張的喘氣聲。我被打得趴在地上，渾身抖動不止。
「別他媽讓丫的歇了」，王姓頭目吼道（後來得知之姓王）。這時，一名個頭一米九以上的大漢抓住頭髮將我揪起，王姓頭目撲過來瘋狂抽打我的臉部，「操你媽，高智晟，你丫的也配他媽穿一身黑衣服，你丫是老大呀，給丫的扒了」。我迅速被撕的一絲不剩。「讓丫的跪下」，隨著王姓頭目的一聲吼叫，後小腿被人猛擊兩下，我被打撲跪在地上。大個子繼續揪住我的頭髮迫逼我抬頭看著他們的頭目。這時，我看到房子裡一共有五人，四人手持電警棍，一人手持我的腰帶。
「你丫的聽著，今天幾位大爺不要別的，就要你生不如死，高智晟我也實話告訴你，現在已不再是你和政府之間的事啦，現在他媽的已經完全變成個人之間的事啦，你丫的低頭看一看，現在地上可一滴水都沒有，呆會地上的水就會沒腳脖，你他媽一會就會明白這水從那裡來」。王姓頭目在說這些話的時候開始電擊我的臉部和上身。「來，給他丫的上第二道菜」，王頭目話落，四支電警棍開始電擊我，我感到所擊之處，五臟六腑、渾身肌肉像自顧躲避似的在皮下急速跳躲。我痛苦的滿地打滾，當王姓頭目開始電擊我的生殖器時，我向他求饒過。我的求饒換來的是一片大笑和更加瘋狂的折磨。王姓頭目四次電擊我的生殖器，一邊電擊，一邊狂叫不止。數小時後，我不再有求饒的力量，也不再有力量躲避，但我的頭腦異常的清醒。我感到在電擊時我的身體抖動的非常劇烈，清楚地感到抖動的四肢濺起的水花。這是我在幾小時裡流出的汗水，我這時才明白「呆會地上的水就會沒腳脖」之意。
這種深更半夜折磨人的活計對折磨者似乎也不輕鬆。天快亮時，他們有三人離開房間。「給丫的上下一道菜，呆會來換你們哥倆」。王姓頭目示意留下的倆人將一把椅子搬至房中間，將我架起來坐在上面，這時，其中一人嘴裡叼上了五支煙，用火點著後猛吸幾口，另一人站在後面用力抓住我的頭髮，壓迫我低下了頭，另一人開始用那五支煙熏我的鼻子和眼晴，這樣反覆多次。他們做的很認真，也很有耐心。待到後來，我除了能偶然感到淚水流下來滴在大腿上的感覺外，已完全不再在乎眼前這倆個人的忙碌和我有什麼聯繫。過了約兩小時左右，進來兩人換下辛苦用煙熏我的那倆位。我的眼睛腫脹得什麼也看不清。
新進來者開口說話了：「高智晟，耳朵現在還能聽到吧？算你點背，這幫人都是長年打黑除惡的，出手狠著呢。這是這次上面專門精心給你挑選的，我是誰你聽出來了沒有？我姓江（音），你去年剛出來時跟你去過新疆」。「是山東蓬萊的那位嗎？」我說。「對，你記憶不錯，我說過，你早晚還要進來，上次去新疆我看你那個樣子，我就知道你再次進來是早晚的事，你看你在警察跟前目空一切的德性，不讓你再進來長點記性能行嗎？給美國國會寫信，你看你那一付漢奸德性，美國主子能給你什麼？美國國會算個屌。這是在中國，這是共產黨的天下，你算個屁，要你的命還不像踩死隻螞蟻一樣？不明白這點還出來混，你要敢再寫那些狗屁文章，政府就得表明個態度，這一晚上你該明白了吧？」江不緊不慢地說。
「你們這樣用黑幫手段殘忍地對待一個納稅人，今後有何顏面面對十幾億國人？」我問他。「你就是個挨打的東西，你心裡比誰都明白，在中國納稅人算個狗屁，別他媽口口聲聲納稅人納稅人的」，江正說著，這時又有人走進來的聲音。「甭他媽的跟他練嘴，給丫的來實在的」，我聽出來者是王姓頭目。「高智晟，你這幾位大爺給你準備了『十二道菜』，昨晚才給你伺候了三道，大爺我就不愛囉嗦，後面還要讓你丫的吃屎喝尿，還要拿簽子捅丫的「燈」（後來才明白是指生殖器）。你丫的不是說共產黨用酷刑嗎，這回讓你丫的全見識一遍。對法輪功酷刑折磨，不錯，一點都不假，我們對付你的這十二套就從法輪功那兒練過來的，實話給你說，爺我也不怕你再寫，你能活著出去的可能性沒有啦！把你弄死，讓你丫的屍體都找不著。我他媽想起來氣就不打一處來，你一個臭外地人，你丫的在北京張狂什麼呀，哥幾個再他媽練丫的」。
在接下來幾個小時的折磨中，我出現了斷斷續續的昏迷，這種昏迷可能與長時間的出汗缺水及飢餓有關。我光著身子躺在冰冷的地板上，神志像過山車一樣起伏不斷。中間感到數次有人剝開我的眼皮用光晃我的眼睛，像是在檢查我是否還活著。每至清醒時，我聞到的全是尿臭味。我的臉上、鼻孔裡、頭髮裡，全是尿水。顯然，不知何時，有人在我頭上、臉上撒了尿。
這樣的折磨持續到第三天下午時，我至今不知當時那裡來的巨大力量，我怎掙脫他們，一邊大喊天昱和格格的名字，一邊猛地撞向桌子。我當時大叫孩子名字的聲音今天回想起來都感到毛骨悚然，那喊聲極其淒遠及陌生。但自殺未能成功。感謝全能的上帝，是他救了我，我真切地感到是神拖住了我。
我的眼睛撞得流血不止，我倒在地上，至少有三個人坐在我的身上，其中一人坐在我的臉上。他們大笑不止，說我拿死來嚇唬他們是提著耗子嚇唬貓，這樣的事他們見得太多啦。他們一直繼續殘忍地折磨我到天黑，我的眼睛什麼也看不見。我能聽得出，折磨我的人輪換著吃完飯後聚齊。其中一人走至我面前抓住頭髮將我揪站起來問：「高智晟，餓不餓？丫的說實話」。答曰：「餓得快要不行啦」。「想不想吃飯！得說實話」，之又問。我又答曰「想吃」。話落，不低於十幾個耳光的一陣巴掌打得我一頭栽倒在地。有一隻腳踩在我的胸上，我的下巴被電警棍猛擊一下，打得我疼得大叫。這時，有一根電警棍塞到我的嘴裡，罵聲也一同而至：「你丫的頭髮怎麼這麼不經揪？看看丫的這張嘴和別人有什麼不一樣的，還不是要吃飯嗎？餓，丫的配嗎？」但電警棍塞進嘴裡後並沒有用電擊我。正不知所故，王姓頭目發話：「高智晟，知道為什麼沒廢掉丫的嘴嗎？今晚上幾位大爺得讓你說上一晚上。甭跟大爺們扯別的，就說你搞女人的事。說沒有不行，說少了不行，說的不詳細也不行，說得越詳細越好，幾位大爺就好這個。大爺們吃飽喝足了，白天也睡夠了，你就開始講吧」。「操你媽，你丫的怎麼不說呀，丫的欠揍，哥幾個上，王頭目大叫」。大約三支電警棍開始電擊我，我毫無尊嚴地滿地打滾。十幾分鐘後，我渾身痙攣抖動得無法停下來。我的確求了饒：「不是不說，是沒有 」，我的聲音變得很嚇人。「哥幾個，怎麼搞得呀，伺候了幾天怎麼把丫的伺候傻了？給丫的捅捅『燈』（生殖器），看丫的說不說」。接著，我被架著跪在地上，他們用牙籤捅我的生殖器。我至今無法用語言述清當時無助的痛苦與絕望。
在那裡，人的的語言，人類的感情沒有了絲毫力量。最後我編了先後與四名女子「私通 」，並在一次一次的折磨中「詳細」描述了與這些女人「發生性關係」的過程。直到天亮，我被抓著手在這樣的筆錄上簽了名，按了手印。「半年內讓丫的變成臭狗屎。這事整出去，你身邊的那些人會像餓狗碰了一嘴新鮮屎一樣高興的」王頭目大聲說。（我出來後得知，就在第二天，孫＊處長即把他們「掌握的」我亂搞男女關係「實情」告訴了我的妻子，耿和告訴之：其一，在給高智晟的為人下結論方面自己不需要政府幫助；其二，若過去縱有其事，在自己眼裡，他實在還是那個寫三封公開信的高智晟）。
經這次折磨後，我幾乎時常處在沒有知覺的狀態中，更多的是沒有了時間知覺。不知過了多久，一群人正準備再次施刑時，突然進來人大聲喝斥了他們，讓他們都滾出去。我能聽得出，來者是市局的一位副局長，此前我多次見過之。至少在我認知的層面上對之有好感，人較為開明、直率，對我和我全家有過一些保護。當時我的眼睛不能睜開，但我整個人已體無完膚，面目全非。聽得出他也很憤怒，找了醫生給我作了檢查，說他也很震驚，但說這絕不代表黨和政府的意思。
我問他誰的意思能如此無法無天，支吾以對。期間，我要求送我進監獄，或送我回家，他沒有作答。最後他將折磨我的人叫進來聲斥了一陣，命他們給我買衣服穿，晚上必須給我提供被子，必須給我飯吃。並答應盡全力為我去爭取或回家，或進監獄。
這位局長一離開，王姓頭目對我破口大罵：「高智晟，你他媽現在還在作夢想進監獄，美死你，今後你再甭想進監獄，只要共產黨還在，你就再也沒有進監獄的機會，什麼時候也別想」。當天晚上，我又被套上黑頭套昏沉沉地被架到另一個不知名的地方，在那裡又被他們無休止地折磨了十幾天後。有一天，我突然又被套上黑頭套後，被人架著按著頭九十度彎腰跑步至一輛車上。上了車，我的頭被人按低至我的襠部，路上一個多小時，真至生不如死的痛苦境地。到了地方後約一小時才取下黑頭套。對我實施肉體折磨的五人中不見了四人，換來的是出獄後貼身監督我「改造」的那群秘密警察。
對我肉體的折磨至此而止，而精神折磨一直持續。我被告知要開「十七大」了，在這裡等候上面的處理意見。期間一些官員時有來訪，變得溫和了許些，也開始允許我洗臉刷牙了。亦有官員提出能否用我的寫作技術「罵罵法輪功，價錢隨你開口，知道你有這能力」。我明確告訴來者，「這不只是一個純技術問題，這是一個困難的倫理問題。」到後來一看沒有動靜，又來說「寫法輪功的文章困難的話，也可以表揚表揚政府嘛，多少錢都不成問題。」最後是「寫點東西說你出獄後政府對你全家很好，是受了法輪功和胡佳等人的蠱惑才一時糊塗寫了給美國國會的公開信的，要不然，這什麼時候是個盡頭。你就不能可憐可憐你的妻子、孩子嗎？後來作為交換，我寫了一份說政府對我全家關心倍至，是受了法輪功和胡佳的蠱惑我才寫給美國國會公開信的材料。回家前，我又被帶到西安給胡佳打了一次電話。
大約是中秋節夜裡，此前因耿和的以自殺抗爭，當局讓我打了一次勸慰電話。通話內容都是由當局設計好的（我回來後得知，耿和所說的內容也是設計好的）。當局還錄了相（當時我還有一隻眼睛無法睜開，錄相中逼我說是自傷的）。十一月中旬回到家得知，家中部分財產再次被抄，這次抄家連一個字的紙條都沒有。
我在這五十多天裡遭遇到的肉體及精神折磨所謂駭人聽聞。期間有過許多奇異的感覺，諸如：有時候能真真切切地聽到死，有時又能真真切切地聽到生。到第十二、三天後我完全睜開眼時，我發現全身的外表變得很可怕，週身沒有一點正常的皮膚。皮膚完全呈重度烏黑色。被綁架期間，我每天「吃飯」的經歷，定會讓那些在紙上操英雄主義槍法的義士們大跌眼球。每至餓致眼冒金星時，他們會拿出饅頭來。每唱一遍《共產黨好》、《社會主義好》、《沒有共產黨就沒有新中國》，即可得一個饅頭。我當時的心理底線是除非萬不得已即設法活下去。死對我的妻子和兩個孩子太過於殘酷，但絕不髒污靈魄。在那樣野蠻的氛圍裡，人性、人的尊嚴是毫無力量的。如果你不唱，你不但會被飢餓折磨，而且他們會無休止地折磨你。但當他們用同樣的手段逼我寫批法輪功的文字時，即未能如他們所願。但以這種方法讓我在寫有這次政府沒有綁架我，也沒有酷刑折磨我，政府一直對全家關愛倍至的筆錄上簽名時，我是作了妥協的。
而在這五十多天中間，還發生了一些為人類政府記錄史所不恥的骯髒過程，更能使人們看到，今天共產黨的領導人，為了保衛非法的壟斷權力，在反人性的惡行方面會走得多遠！但這些骯髒的過程我不願再提及、或許會永遠如是。在每次的折磨我的過程中，他們都會反覆威脅說，如果將來有一天，把這次的經歷說出去，下次就會在我的妻子、孩子面前折磨我。大個子每一次都抓住我的頭髮告訴我：「把這次的事說出去了，你丫的死期就到了，幾位大爺隨時找你敗火」。這樣的警告不知被重複了多少次。這些東西的心裡也清楚，這樣的殘忍暴行並不十分偉大光榮正確。
最後，我還想再說一句不太討人歡顏的話，即我想提醒今天共產黨在全球的那些「好朋友」、「好夥伴」們：共產黨對國內人民愈發蠻橫及冷酷的十足底氣，是被我們和你們一同給慣出來的。
2007年11月28日於被警察圍困的北京家中
2007年11月28日於被警察圍困的北京家中
──轉自《自由亞洲電台》
參考譯文﹕(English version)
-(My account of more than 50 days of torture in 2007)
By GAO ZHISHENG
These words from me today will be finally revealed one day. They will expose the true face of today's China and will disclose the unimaginable heart and characteristics of the "ruling party" in China.
Of course, these words will inevitably bring unpleasant and even disturbed, embarrassed feelings to those global "good friends" and "nice partners" of today's Chinese Communist Party-IF these global "good friends" and "nice partners" still have some concern in their hearts for the value of human conscience and morality.
Today, the suddenly well off CCP has not only gained more and more global "good friends" and "nice partners" but also has spoken more and more loudly such perverted slogans as "China is a country with rule of law." Both will be disastrous to the progress and development of the human rights of the Chinese people.
Around 8 p.m. on Sept. 21, 2007 the authorities notified me orally that I should go for a mind re-education talk. I found there were some unusual things happening this time. The secret police, who used to follow me very closely, kept a greater distance. I was walking down the street that day and, when I turned a corner, about six or seven strangers started walking towards me. I suddenly felt a strong blow to the back of my neck and fell face down on the ground. Someone yanked my hair and a black hood was immediately pulled over my head.
I was brought to a vehicle and was put in it. Although I couldn't see, it seemed to me that it had two benches with a space in the middle. I was put in the space in the middle on the floor. My right cheek was on the ground. All of a sudden a boot was stepped on my face holding me down. Many hands started searching all over me. My belt was pulled off and then used to tie my hands behind my back. At least four people stepped their feet on me holding me down.
About 40 minutes later I was dragged out of the car. My pants were falling down around my knees and I was dragged into a room. No one had said anything at all to me until that time. The hood was pulled off of my head at this time. Immediately men began cursing and hitting me. "***, your date of death has come today. Brothers, let's give him a brutal lesson today. Beat him to death."
Then, four men with electric shock prods began beating my head and all over my body. Nothing but the noise of the beating and my anxious breathing could be heard. I was beaten so severely that my whole body began uncontrollably shaking.
"Don't let him rest!" shouted a guy I later learned is named Wang. Then a very strong and tall (approximately 6' 1") man grabbed my hair and pulled me up off the ground. Then Wang began beating me on the face terribly.
"***, you are not worthy to wear black clothes. Are you a Mafia leader? Pull off all of his clothes."
All my clothes were pulled off and I was totally naked. Wang yelled again, and someone kicked me in the back of my legs, and I collapsed to the floor. The big guy continued to pull my hair and forced me to lift my head to see Wang.
At this time, I could see that there were five people in the room. Four of the men were holding electric prods, and one was holding my belt.
"You listen, Gao, today your uncles want nothing but to make your life worse than death. I tell you the truth, your matter is not only between you and the government.
"Look at the floor! There is not a single drop of water. After a while the water will be above your ankles. After a while you will learn where the water will come from."
While Wang was saying this, the electric shock prods were thrust on my face and upper body shocking me.
Wang then said, "Come on guys, deliver the second course!" Then, the electric shock batons were put all over me. And my full body, my heart, lungs and muscles began jumping under my skin uncontrollably. I was writhing on the ground in pain, trying to crawl away. Wang then shocked me in my penis.
My begging them to stop only resulted in laughing and more unbelievable torture. Wang then used the electric shock baton three more times on my penis while shouting loudly.
After a few hours of this I had no energy to even beg, let alone try to escape. But my mind was still clear. I felt my body was jerking very strongly when the baton touched me. I clearly felt some water sprinkled on my arms and legs as I was jerking. It was then I realized that this was sweat from me, and I realized what Wang had meant about the water.
It seems that the torturers themselves were also tired. Before the dawn came, three of them left the room. "We will come back later to give him the next course," Wang said.
The two left in the room, put a chair in the middle of the room and pulled me up and set me in the chair. One of them had five pieces of cigarettes in his mouth. One man stood behind me and the man with the cigarettes was in front.
The man behind grabbed my hair and pulled my head forward and down. The other man used the cigarettes to fill my nose and eyes with smoke over and over. They did this with the utmost patience. After a while I didn't have any feeling except for some tears dropping on my legs.
This continued for about two hours. Then some other guys came in replacing the previous two. My eyes could not see because they were now swollen shut.
The new guys started talking, "Gao, are you still able to hear with your ears? I tell you the truth, these guys are experts in cracking down on Mafia guys. They are heavies. This time they are chosen specifically and carefully by the higher authorities for this purpose.
"Can you hear who I am? My last name is Jiang. I followed you to Xiajiang after you were released last year."
"Are you the one from Penglai City, Shandong?" I asked.
"Yes, your memory is still good. I told you, you would come back sooner or later. When I saw you the way you behaved in Xiajiang, I knew you would be back. You even looked down upon our police.
"Shouldn't we help you have a better lesson? You wrote that letter to American Congress. Look at you, you traitor. What could you be given by your American lord? The American Congress counts for nothing. This is China. It is the Communist Party's territory.
"To capture your life is as easy as stepping on an ant. If you dare to continue to write your stupid articles, the government has to make its attitude clear. Now, did you see that attitude tonight?" Jiang spoke slowly.
I asked, "How can you treat taxpayers using such Mafia tactics? How could you face billions of Chinese in the future?"
"That is why you deserve to be beaten," said Jiang. "You are more clear in your mind than most people. Taxpayers count for nothing in China. Don't talk about this term 'taxpayers.'"
While he was saying this, someone else entered the room. I recognized the voice to be Wang's. "Don't talk to him with your mouth. Give him the real thing. Your uncles have prepared 12 courses. We only finished 3 last night.
"Your chief uncle doesn't like to talk and so after a while you will see that you will have to eat your own S*** and drink your own piss. A toothpick will touch your light [sexual organs]. "
"Don't you talk about torture by the Communist Party yet, because we will give you a comprehensive lesson now!
"You are correct, we torture Falun Gong. Everything is right. The 12 courses we're going to give to you were practiced on the Falun Gong. To tell you the truth, I am not afraid that you continue to write. We can torture you to death without your body being found.
"You stinky outsider [meaning, not from Beijing]! How dare of you being so arrogant in Beijing? Let's teach him the lesson again."
In the following hours of torture, I passed out from time to time because of lack of water and food, and heavy sweating. I was lying down on the cold floor naked. I felt several times someone come and open my eyes and shine a flashlight in them to see if I was still alive.
When I would come to, I smelled the strong odor of stinky urine. My face, nose, and hair were filled with the smell. Obviously, but I don't know when, someone had urinated on my face and head.
This torture continued until around noon on the third day. I don't know where I got the strength to endure, but somehow I struggled to get away from their grasp and suddenly ram my head again the edge of the table.
I was shouting the names of my two children (Tiangyu and GeGe) with such a sad and remote voice and trying to kill myself. But my attempt did not succeed. I thank Almighty God for this. It is He who rescued me. I truly felt God dragged me back from that state and gave me my life.
My eyes were full of blood, though, because of my head-banging. I fell on the ground. Immediately, three people sat on my body. One was on my face. They were laughing. They said I used my death to try to scare them. They said they have just seen this too many times.
They then continued the torture again until that night. I could not see anything with my eyes anymore. I could still hear my torturers though, and again they gathered after they had dinner.
One of them came and pulled my hair, dragging me up. "Gao, are you hungry? Tell us the truth!"
I said, "I am very hungry."
"Do you want to eat? Tell us the truth!"
I said, "I want to eat." Immediately, they slapped my face repeatedly, a dozen times or more, and I again collapsed to the ground. A boot stomped on my chest, and someone shocked me on the chin with the baton. I screamed. Then someone thrust the baton into my mouth.
"Let's see how different your mouth is from others. Don't you want to eat? You said you are hungry. Are you worthy?" The baton was in my mouth but was not turned on. I was wondering why?
"Gao, do you know why we didn't destroy your mouth?" then Wang said. "Tonight your uncles want you to talk the whole night. We want you to talk about nothing except about how you are a womanizer. You are not allowed to say you are not one. You are not allowed to say there are just a few women, either. Don't forget any details. You can't leave any details out. Your uncles like this. We have slept and eaten enough, it's your time to talk."
"Why didn't he talk? Beat him up brothers!" Wang shouted. Three batons began shocking me. I was crawling all over trying to get away and was still naked. After more than 10 minutes, I was shaking uncontrollably again.
I begged them. "I didn't have an affair. It's not that I don't want to tell you." I heard my voice was quivering.
"Are you becoming a fool?" said Wang. "Let's use the baton to light you and see if you start talking."
Then two people stretched out my arms and pinned them to the ground. They used toothpicks to pierce my penis. I can't use any language to describe the helplessness, pain, and despair that I felt then. At a point like that, language and emotion do not have the power to explain. Finally I made up stories, telling them about affairs that I had with four women. After more repeated torture, I had to describe how I had sex with each of these women in details. This continued until dawn the next day.
At that time, I was dragged to where I had to sign the transcript of my confession about my affairs. "If we send this out, you will become stinky dog' s *** in half a year," Wang said loudly.
After I was released, I learned that the day after the torture the interrogator named Sun informed my wife of "the truth" they had learned about my affairs. My wife told them: "I do not need government's help to get to know my husband. In my eyes, he is still the one who wrote 3 open letters to urge the government to stop persecution of Falun Gong."
After being tortured for days, I often lost consciousness and was unable to determine the passage of time. I don't know how long had passed. A group of them were preparing to torture me again.
Another guy came in, though, and rebuked them. I could hear it was a deputy director from the Beijing PSB. I had seen him many times before. I thought him to be a good person.
I could not see him though, because my eyes were still swollen. My whole body was beaten and skins were all bruised and unrecognizable. He sounded angry because of my condition. He found a doctor to attend to me. He said he was appalled and surprised. He said, "This torture doesn't represent the Communist Party!"
I asked him, "Who directed this?"
He didn't reply. I asked to be sent back home or even just back to prison. He didn't reply. He brought my torturers back into the room and rebuked them. He ordered them to buy clothes for me and give me a blanket and food. He told me he would try his best to either get me back to prison or back home.
As soon as the deputy left, Wang began cursing me. "Gao, you even dream to go to prison? No, that is too easy. You won't have any chance to do that as long as the CCP is still in power. Don't even think about that."
That same night, I was transported to another location, but I didn't know where, since I had a black hood over my head again. I was continuously tortured there again for more than 10 days.
Then one day, they put the hood on me again, and I was put into a vehicle. My head was forced in between my legs, and I had to remain that way for more than an hour. The suffering was more than I could stand, and I wanted to die.
After another hour, at a new location, the hood was removed. Four of the previous five torturers were not there. Instead, I saw the same group of secret police who used to follow me.
From then on, the physical torture stopped, but emotional torture continued. I was told the 17th Communist Party Congress was starting and that I had to wait for the higher authorities' opinions about my case.
During that time, some officials came to visit my cell. Their attitude was softer, and I was also allowed to wash my face and brush my teeth.
Some officials proposed to me to use my writing skills to curse Falun Gong instead, and that I could charge whatever I wanted for doing that. I said it is not a technical problem but an ethical problem.
"So, if that is too hard, then write articles praising the government, and again charge whatever you want," they suggested.
Finally, they proposed, "If you write that you and your family were treated well after prison and that you were fooled by Falun Gong and Hu Jia, things will go well. Otherwise, how can you find an end to your suffering? Think of your wife and children."
In exchange, I did write an article that said the government treated my family well. In that article, I explained that I wrote the open letter to the U.S. Congress because I had been fooled by Falun Gong and Hu Jia.
Before I was released to go home, though, I was brought to Xian city to make a phone call to Hu Jia.
On the date of the mid-autumn festival, the authorities asked me to call my wife and comfort her since she was holding a protest and trying to commit suicide over the government's treatment of our family.
The content of the call was all designed by the authorities (Later I learned that my wife's response was also choreographed.). I could still not open one of my eyes at that time due to the previous torture. Since the call was being taped, I was told to explain that it was from a self-inflicted wound.
In the middle of November 2007, after I got home, I learned that my house had been thoroughly searched again, without a single document or search warrant having been produced. During those more than 50 days of horrifying torture on my body and spirit, I had many strange feelings. For example, sometimes I could really hear "death" and sometimes I could really hear "life."
On the twelfth or thirteenth day of my kidnapping, when I could again partially open my eyes, I saw my body was in a horrifying condition. Not a single square centimeter of my skin was normal. It was bruised and damaged over every part.
Every day while I was being held, the experience of "eating" was unusual. Whenever I was at the point of starving, they would bring up "mantle" [steamed bread] and offer it to me. If I would sing one of the three famous revolutionary Communist Party songs, I could have some bread.
My deepest desire was that I wanted to live until that was no longer possible. My death would be torturous for my wife and children, but at the same time I didn't want to dirty my soul. But in that environment, human dignity has no strength. If you don't sing these songs, you will continue to be starved, and they will continue to torture you, so I sang.
When they used the same tactic, though, pressuring me to write articles attacking Falun Gong, I didn't do it. But I did compromise by writing my statement saying the government didn't kidnap and torture me and that they treated my family well. I did sign that document.
During these more than 50 days, more horrible evils were committed than I have told here. Those evils are not even worthy of any historical records by any human governments. But those records will further enable us to see clearly how much further the leaders of the CCP are willing go in the CCP's evil crimes against humanity in order to protect its illegal monopoly on power! Those evils are so dirty and disgusting that I don't want to mention them at this time and perhaps will never mention them in the future.
Every time when I was tortured, I was always repeatedly threatened that, if I spelled out later what had happened to me, I would be tortured again, but I was told, "This time it will happen in front of your wife and children."
The tall, strong man who pulled my hair repeated this over and over during the days I was tortured. "Your death is sure if you share this with the outside world," he said. This was repeated many times. These brutal, violent acts are not right. Those that did it, themselves, knew this clearly in their hearts.
Finally, I want to say a few words that won't be liked by some folks. I want to remind those so-called global "good friends," "good partners," so-called by the CCP, that the increasing degree of brutality and coldness against the Chinese people by the CCP is the direct result of appeasement by both you and us (our own Chinese people).
Gao Zhisheng
Written on November 28, 2007 at my besieged home in Beijing
Authorized to be released to international community on February 9, 2009
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